


Keep Me Moving, Baby.

by OkProblematic



Category: One Direction
Genre: Fluff, M/M, there's quite a lack of harry actually, we all cry, zayn leaves 1d
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-11 11:51:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7049389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OkProblematic/pseuds/OkProblematic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not like this. Not like this. Not like this. </p>
<p>Those words were the only thing running through Niall’s head after Zayn had met with him after what would be known as his last show, telling him he was done, this was it, I’m going home, goodbye Niall. </p>
<p>And now Niall is sitting on the floor against the wall in the middle of nowhere, in the last place he’d spoken to Zayn, clenching his jaw, trying not to cry. But tears were escaping anyways, dripping down his cheeks, his hair starting to flop down on his forehead. He thinks about how Zayn would push his hair away and kiss his forehead, silently tell him not to cry anymore. </p>
<p>--<br/>In which Zayn leaves and Niall isn't quite sure what that means.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep Me Moving, Baby.

_Not like this. Not like this. Not like this._

 

Those words were the only thing running through Niall’s head after Zayn had met with him after what would be known as his last show, telling him he was done, this was it, _I’m going home, goodbye Niall._

 

And now Niall is sitting on the floor against the wall in the middle of nowhere, in the last place he’d spoken to Zayn, clenching his jaw, trying not to cry. But tears were escaping anyways, dripping down his cheeks, his hair starting to flop down on his forehead. He thinks about how Zayn would push his hair away and kiss his forehead, silently tell him not to cry anymore.

 

Its that thought that sends him sobbing into his own lap. He should’ve gotten more of a goodbye, a kiss, a hug, a nickname just for him, anything except the cold look and hurt, down cast eyes. Anything except Zayn leaving months earlier than expected, than Zayn leaving Niall. 

 

They’d talked about it, is the thing. They’d sat down as a group, a family, and said that it was time to go other ways and Zayn had said that he be the first to go, if that wa alright, he'd wanted to leave for a while now and they all known for a while now, anyways.

 

Zayn would announce that he was leaving after the tour was over and the band would use that as an excuse to break up, to all go their own ways. Harry could have his movie and the est of the boys could go solo, Louis could have his baby and they’d all move on, together.

 

Niall and Zayn would still be together, even if the world didn’t know it yet.

 

But now, now Niall wasn’t sure if that would happen, if they would still be together, if he would still have Zayn’s bed to hide in when the world got too loud, or when the fans and press poked a little too much fun at him. He wasn’t sure if Zayn still wanted him.

 

It’s Liam who finds him there on the floor, rubbing his eyes like a small child who's been up past their bedtime. Liam looks a little frantic, though, finally only sighing in relief now that he’s found Niall. He’s doesn’t ask questions as he scoops Niall up and carries him out and really, Niall is too big for this now, they’re not teenagers anymore but Niall lets Liam take care of him anyways.

 

He sets Niall down on the couch in the bus and watches the way that Niall rubs his eyes and hiccups once before sitting down next to him. Liam doesn’t try to hold Niall or to comfort him because he knows that he doesn’t smell like Zayn and he isn’t bony like Zayn and he doesn’t know how to comfort Niall in the way that he needs right now. But Zayn is gone, halfway to the airport for his flight home.

 

Home. Liam wants to be mad because Niall is Zayn’s home and they all know this but Zayn is gone now, off to see his family because he can’t do it anymore. Liam wants to ask why Zayn left so suddenly, on telling him, _I’m going home, Liam. Find my - find Niall and take care of him, okay?_ He knows that they had a fight, but he doesn’t see how it could be so bad that it would send Zayn back to Bradford. He doesn’t understand because Zayn was electric on stage tonight, he shined so bright and in turn had the rest of them glowing, especially Niall. He thought they’d solved it and that he would be running around backstage trying to find the both of them because they’d run off to make out, not running through the corridors trying to find Niall and make sure he was okay. 

 

While Liam is lost in his head, Niall gets up and makes his way to the bunks, sniffling quietly. Liam decides it’s best to let him go and he’ll talk to Niall about everything in the morning, when he’s at least pretending to be better off. 

 

Niall doesn’t bother to go to his own bunk where he knows Zayn’s shirt from the day before is because he’d taken it off the second he’s climbed up to the top and then curled up behind Niall, holding him close and whispering until they had fallen asleep. No, he goes to Zayn bunk because even if he rarely sleeps there, it smells like him and it’s the place Niall goes when he’s upset because Zayn’s probably there.

 

Of course, Zayn isn’t there his time, but some of his comfort is. In fact, the shirt that Zayn wore tonight is there, laid out on to of the half made bed, as if Zayn knew Niall would go there.

 

He must have known because as Niall takes the shirt and climbs into the bunk, he finds a little piece of paper folded up on the pillow, addressed to him with Zayn’s curly handwriting. He doesn’t want to read it, not really, but he does anyways, because Zayn took the time to think about where Niall and only Niall would be the most likely to see it.

 

The note is sloppy, written in a hurry but not as a second thought.

 

_Niall,_

_I don’t know why I’m really writing this but I feel like I have to leave you with something better than the way I did. I don’t really know what to say but I love you. You’re my baby and the last thing I want you to be thinking is that this is your fault. I know that we fought but that doesn’t matter to me anymore. I’m sitting here on the bus alone, not even trying to pack because I can't bring myself to do it. But I love you, I love you so much and this isn’t the end. I still want to come home to you and I want you to still hold me when I’m sad. I could use a hug from you right now, actually. But I need to see my family. I’ll talk to you soon, baby. Please don’t be sad, I know this brings much less comfort than me being there but know that I want to be there with you I just can’t do it anymore, the touring like we were seeing you stressed and worried. I know you haven;t told me, but I know why you’re worried. Don’t be, please. I love you so much. Call me when you can and I’ll answer if I’m not already on the plane. You’re always gonna be my baby._

  * _Zayn_



Niall looks at his phone, but doesn’t call. Instead he just strips down to his boxers and crawls under the blankets, gripping Zayn’s shirt and pretending he can feel Zayn’s arms around him until he falls asleep.

 

\--

 

Niall wakes in the early hours from a dream that he never wants to have again.

 

He and Zayn had been so happy, just like they had been on stage that night; even after their fight Zayn had been so happy with him on stage, really giving it all and Niall had thought that Zayn wasn’t mad at him anymore and this was his way of showing it. The dream was like that too, the both of them sitting on the couch in Zayn’s apartment laughing and watching movies, throwing little bit of popcorn and crisps at each other.

 

They had fallen asleep there, but when Niall wakes in his dream all he’s left with is a little note and Zayn is gone. He doesn’t get to read his dream note because he’s too busy gasping awake in real life, Zayn’s shirt smushed up by his face.

 

It’s all too much for him and he finds himself picking up his phone to call Zayn because that’s who he always calls when he’s upset. Half-way through the first ring Niall wonders what he’ll say if Zayn answers. He doesn’t know, it would just be nice to hear Zayn’s voice, he thinks.

 

“Niall?” and Niall’s whole world stops, his heart stop beating and he stops breathing. For those few moments he lets all of his emotions flow over him and he just -

 

“Zayn,” it's nothing more than a hiccup, a quick, high-pitched sound torn from his throat before he’s crying again, quiet little whimpers, “I need you,” Niall doesn’t care what’s he saying right now, it doesn’t matter, Zayn isn’t here, he’s _gone,_ and Niall’s heart is breaking in his chest.

 

There’s a pause and Niall thinks he’s going to be sick, stomach sinking lower than it’s ever been. An intake of breath of the other line and what might be a sniff, “Niall, I -,” a muffled sound, a soft pain, “baby, oh, baby I need you too, I’ll - I’ll always need you,” and then Zayn is definitely crying too.

 

Nobody’s talking but they’re both crying and Niall briefly thinks that maybe he shouldn’t have called but he realizes that he needed this, he needed to know that Zayn wasn’t mad at him. A note saying he wasn’t was so much different than hearing on the phone, telling Niall how much he needs him.

 

Zayn is the first to speak, taking a deep breath and asking, “Are - are you guys in the next city yet?” The line goes quiet as Niall takes a deep breath and tries to steady himself before looking out the window in Zayn’s bunk and noting the different surroundings. The bus is still moving but they’re in a city now - something nameless but Niall doesn’t care where they are.

Niall sniffles, “I - I think so. The bus is - is still moving though, close to the hotel probably,” he takes another deep breath, wipes the stray tears away with the back of his hand, speaks quietly, “Are - are you gonna come back?” He leaves out the _for me_ out of his sentence because he’s still not sure where they stand.

 

Zayn picks up on it anyways, telling him, whispering right to Niall’s ear, and his heart, “I never left, not really, but I’ll always come back for you, my sunshine.”

 

Niall’s heart begins to be so quickly and he start to make his way out of the bunk, the excitement of seeing Zayn again so soon making him forget all about his earlier tears, “Where are you?”

 

The line goes quiet again and Niall hopes with all of his heart that Zayn will say something like _right behind you_ , and hug him, but he doubts that’s possible. Instead, Zayn sighs, “I’m actually at the hotel.. I was supposed to go home but Louis told me not to make any rash decisions, so I just went to the hotel early,”

 

“Oh,” Niall doesn’t really know what to say anymore, he’s not really sure why Louis got to talk to Zayn but all Niall got was a few words and screaming Zayn’s name down the hallway, hoping he’ll turn around but he never does.

 

“Niall, I want to see you, I just don’t know how to explain myself. I want to see you and I want to talk to you, you’re my baby and you need to know how I’m feeling. I - I love you, Niall. Please come see me,”

 

“O - Of course I’m coming to see you. I love you! I just - I don’t know what to tell you. I want to talk to you about everything but - but the boys are waking up now. I think we’re close. I - I want to stay on the phone though,” Niall whispers too now, “I don’t want you to go again,”

 

“Baby, no, I’d never leave you, of course I’ll stay on the phone,” Zayn pauses and Niall can picture him licking his lips, thinking about what to say next, “I don’t like trying to sleep without you, I can’t do it. I haven’t slept all night, actually. It wasn’t right without you there.”

 

Niall nods, forgetting that Zayn can’t see him, echoing a small, “Yeah,” he doesn’t really know what to say again, but he mumbles, “I slept in your bunk last night, held your shirt.”

 

Zayn inhales sharply, “I - I thought you might. I left you a note - it was probably stupid but - I just couldn’t leave things like that; I was waiting for you to call.”

 

“Yeah,” Niall sighs, “I didn’t know what to say to you or how to stop crying long enough to talk. I - I spent the night wishing you were there, telling me not to cry,” Niall inhales, trying to keep his voice steady, “I know it - it wasn’t a really long time but, but I didn’t know what was happening and I was so scared, Zayn, I was so scared for us - I just,” he makes a small sound, voice breaking as he starts to cry again, “I just want you to hold me,” 

Zayn doesn’t say anything for a moment and Niall tries to wipe away the last of his tears as the bus comes to a stop. There’s a hotel outside, probably theirs but Zayn still hasn’t said anything. He does take a deep breath though and finally, finally speaks, “I’ll never stop, Niall, I’ll never stop holding you.”

 

Niall chokes, trips trying to get up because the only thing in his head, in his blood, is Zayn and he needs him. He needs to see him; they can talk later. Niall needs Zayn’s arms around him so badly he can barely breathe.

 

It's early enough in the morning that Niall should be able to just walk right in the hotel without worrying about security, but even if it wasn’t he doesn’t think he’d care, he’s too focused on getting to Zayn. He’s opening up the doors on the bus and he can hear the rest of the boys scrambling behind him but he’s moving forward, always forward.

 

He forgets for a moment the phone that he still has pressed to his ear, but Zayn’s voice, always Zayn’s, brings him back to reality, long enough to say some room number that Niall barely hears, he knows the door will be open, he doesn’t need the keys - _no, no,_ \- he’s waving past security and past the elevator, turning to the stairs and running.

 

For those four flights he doesn’t care that he knees are screaming, he doesn’t care that the boys are calling after him, wondering what he’s doing. They don’t know that Zayn is on the fourth floor and that his voice is in Niall’s ear. Niall doesn’t even realize that he’s panting and that Zayn keeps telling him to _slow down, you’ll hurt yourself,_ but he doesn’t care he can see the door now, it’s not open but he’s sure it's unlocked.

 

Niall’s whole world has gone into a sort of haze, seeing and hearing nothing except his own thoughts of _Zayn, Zayn, Zayn_ , and the door just out of reach down the hall. The door opens and it;s like the whole world just, _snaps._

 

Niall drops his phone, not caring where it lands because he _sees_ Zayn now, sees how greasy his hair is and how it looks like his shirt had been thrown off in a fit, how low on his hips his sweats are and Niall _loves_ him so much. Zayn looks so rough and tired from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed, but he’d stood up the second Niall had opened the door.

 

For a moment nobody moves, both of them taking the other in, Niall’s still in his clothes from the show last night and he actually has Zayn’s shirt from the night before slung over his shoulder, his hair’s a mess and his eyes are red but nobody cares.

 

It’s that moment, then Niall is running again, the first step like a gunshot that has Zayn opening his arms and Niall plowing into them, sending them both backwards onto the bed, Niall on top of Zayn, arms wrapped all the way around him and it feels like coming home after months of being away, it feels like he belongs there.

 

He doesn’t realize that he’s started crying again, not sure if he ever really stopped but it’s okay now because Zayn is holding him so tightly, crying quietly into his hair and in this moment, nothing matters more than the fact that they’re both here, together. Niall’s got his arms hooked over Zayn’s shoulders, fingers digging into them.

 

The door to the room is wide open and they could probably get into a lot of trouble for that, but neither of them cares right now because Zayn is pulling away, just enough to mumble, “Niall, my baby, I’m so sorry, I - “

 

But Niall stops him, speaking against his chest, “I don’t care right now, just hold me please,” and somewhere in the time they’d stopped crying, instead just breathing each other in. Zayn adjusts his grip just enough to be able to pull Niall up the bed with him, so that they’re both on the pillows, facing each other. He doesn’t let the younger boy go, only pulls him in closer by the waist and kisses his forehead, pushing his hair out of the way and whispering, “Don’t cry, my love, I’m right here.”

 

Niall squeezes his eyes shut to avoid more tears because this is all he wanted in the end. He knows they still have a lot of talking to do, but for now, he just mumbles to Zayn, “I love you. We have to talk still but for now, sleep with me, I _need_ you here, with me.”

 

Zayn kisses Niall’s temple and is about to respond when the rest of the boys come flying through the doorway, Harry smacking into Louis and sending him flying into Liam, just had stopped at the edge of the room.

 

“Oh good - Niall’s here too - uh, we’ll talk later then,” Liam’s voice is almost enough to make Niall and Zayn lift their heads, but they’re too involved in looked at each other to notice much else. The rest of the boys close the door on their way out, and with that, any outside problems are gone and it’s just them, only the two of them again. 

 

Zayn shifts even closer, grabs Niall’s face as best and as gently as he can. He kisses the boy, presses their lips together so carefully because he doesn’t know if Niall’s wants this right now, but Niall presses back, just a little bit. 

 

But it’s enough, it’s enough for Zayn to push that little bit more, move one of his hands from Niall’s face to his waist, to pull the boy as close as possible, to feel so close that they’re almost one. It’s enough for Niall to push as well, to hold Zayn steady, hands in the older boy’s hair and gripping the strands. Zayn moves to roll them over so that he on top of the blonde, resting on his elbow while his other hand holds Niall’s waist.

 

Niall moves to pull away even though they both make a small sound at parting, leaving Zayn panting over Niall, a small smile on his face as they open their eyes. Niall smiles up at him lightly, “Zaynie?” Zayn hums and pecks Niall on the lips again. “Do you wanna sleep now? Should be able to, yeah?”

Zayn hums again and Niall knows he’s at the point where he’s relaxed now, where he’s no longer worried about being a popstar, he’s only worried about Niall. He speaks though, voice so low and quiet that Niall nearly misses it, “Wanna be with you,”

 

Niall runs his fingers through Zayn’s hair again and says, “I’m right here, love,” he takes in Zayn’s tired eyes, the way his eyelids are already halfway to closed and the way his whole body is lazy, tired, “C’mon, sleep, Zee, I’ll be here when you wake up, I promise.”

 

Zayn looks at him a little tentatively before sinking down to lie next to Niall, positioning them so that Niall is resting his head on the elder’s chest, one leg thrown over Zayn’s waist and his arm across Zayn’s torso. Like this, Zayn can see Niall’s eyes, can see that his boy is tired so he kisses Niall’s hair again, silently telling him to go to sleep.

 

Niall blinks sleepily before falling asleep on Zayn’s bare chest, Zayn watching him carefully, watching his face relax as he slips into a peaceful sleep, Zayn not far behind him, falling asleep with his nose in Niall’s hair smelling what is actually his own shampoo.

 

\--

 

Niall wakes up to Zayn shifting, presumably so he can watch Niall sleep at a better angle. They’re both sweating from the body heat under the duvet, but neither of them seems to mind, instead taking the time to wake up slowly, together.

 

They both know they have a lot to talk about and that the next concert is the next night so they stay in bed like that for just a few minutes longer until Zayn moves again, so he can kiss Niall, moving the boy’s chin up with a gentle hand.

 

After sharing a few more soft kisses, they seem to make a silent agreement to take a much needed shower. In the shower they share, neither is shy, they have no reason to be, but they’re careful to make sure they don’t get distracted, only sharing brief kisses and washing each other’s hair. (There’s the five minutes where Zayn gets pushed against the shower wall and snogged until he can’t breathe, but all bets are off when his hands gravitate to Niall’s arse.)

 

They quickly find that they don’t actually have any clothes with them because they’re on the bus, but Zayn does have a small bag with a few things and nobody is really complaining if somebody is missing their shirt. Zayn sits across from Niall on the bed, the younger boy’s legs in his lap, “I’m so sorry, Niall. I want to start by saying that. I’m so sorry for just leaving you like that; I should have explained or something it’s just that - “

 

“Zayn, slow down, please, it’s okay now. I’m here, you’re here. _We’re_ here.” Zayn takes a deep breath and steadies himself with a hand on Niall’s shin, the other twisting a loose string on the bottom of the sweats Niall is wearing.

 

Zayn takes a deep breath, “It’s just that I don’t know how to face you after I yell at you. I don’t know what to do when we’re not - not on the same side, I guess.”

 

“I’m always on your side, Zayn, I just want what’s best for you. I’m sorry I got on you like that when you said you wanted to - to go home early. I was just so scared.” Zayn looks up from the string and looks at Niall, who’s looking down at where his own fingers are twisting the duvet beside him.

 

The darker haired boy wants to move, to take Niall into his arms and personally fight all of Niall’s fears, but he’s knows that if he does that, they're going to get nowhere, “What are you scared of?”

 

“Honestly? Of you leaving me, or like forgetting about me. If you go solo while we’re still on tour, I - I don’t know what going to happen to us and I don’t want to lose you. Modest is only allowing this because you’re supposed tomake your own music and I don’t know what that means for us.” Niall’s looking up at him, eyes so, so blue and so, so sad.

 

He wants to go about this jokingly but he knows that’s part of why they fought before, because he’d made a joke in the middle of Niall trying to explain why he shouldn’t leave and - he doesn’t want to think about it anymore, “It means that every single song I write about you is going to make it on the album and I can keep so many aspects of you in my life and my tour, baby, I’d never forget you. You’re my life, my love, my _everything._ ”

 

Niall’s eyes had widened as Zayn spoke, a small joy in him making his shoulders and chest rise as well, “You mean that? You’ll keep them for everybody to hear?”

 

Zayn is surprised that this is what Niall was so afraid of, but he knows how much he means to the younger boy, nights spent singing together and sharing secrets telling him all he needed to know. He gives the only answer he can, “Of course.”

 

Niall smiles, blindingly bright, and for a moment, Zayn misses his braces but he’s sitting here now looking at the man his little baby has become, the man who has built an empire in his heart. The younger boy opens his arms for a hug and Zayn is quick to oblige, moving to sit next to Niall now. 

 

“I wanted to talk to you about why I want to leave so soon, a well, though, Niall. I just - knowing that I will be doing my own thing has me excited, sure, but it’s also stressing me out because you know how Modest wants to spin this. But you’re still my boys, I just - I can’t see myself being a pop singer much longer. Even you want to change styles, babe. I’m just really stressed about it, plus, I found out I won’t have time to see my family before they make me get back in the studio and you know how much I miss them. I’m so homesick.”

 

It’s Niall this time who pushes Zayn’s hair out of his eyes as he takes a deep breath, “I know you are, Zaynie, and I’m sorry that I freaked out before, I guess I was just surprised and didn’t know what to do,like if you were going to leave tour so suddenly, you could leave me like that too -”

 

“I would never, Ni - “

 

“No, Zayn, I know that now, it's just the first thought I had but, but I know now that it’ll all be okay. I know that no matter what I’ll still have you, and you’ll have me.” Niall continues to push Zayn’s hair back, this time leaning up to kiss Zayn’s forehead. Niall feels better but there’s still something he needs to know, “Are - are you going to perform tonight?”

 

Zayn doesn’t say anything, watching Niall as he thinks. “I want to, but I just can’t - I gave it so much yesterday because I thought that would be it, and I think it was, really. I don’t want to let you guys down though,” he looks down, can’t even look at his boy anymore.

 

“Hey, you’re not letting anybody down if your heart’s not in it, petal. If you’re done, then you’re done, I’m sure the boys have already prepared for it. But - but can you just stick around for one more night? Like backstage or in here or something? I - you know how I get after the big concerts.”

 

Zayn is nodding his head before Niall even finishes what he’s saying, “Yeah, yeah of course. Thank you, Niall. I promise I’ll always be there for the boys and you, obviously, no matter what the media makes this out to be. I love you.” He’s smiling now, a huge weight visibly lifted off of him and it makes Niall smile too.

 

“I love you too.” Zayn laughs a little bit before taking Niall’s face in his hands and kissing him.

 

Niall, of course, will never pass up a chance to kiss Zayn, so he kisses him and kisses him. They kiss until Niall ends up on top of Zayn, panting into his neck as Zayn runs his hands all over Niall’s chest, shoving his shirt up under his arms to get his hands on as much pale skin as possible.

 

That desperate feeling of just needed to see each other from before is slowly coming back, both boys clinging to each other until Zayn finally manages to get them both naked, just staying pressed close together. They go back to kissing, now slow and languid, just breathing each other in.

 

It’s hours that they spend there, just like that, admiring each other and just staying close before they actually get up so Zayn can explain what’s happening to the rest of the boys. When they both show up in various bits of Zayn’s clothes, nobody says anything but Louis has a fire in eyes that shows just how hard he’s trying to hold back his teasing.

 

\--

After the concert that night, Zayn is standing just backstage, arms catching Niall as he come flying off, radiating energy. Niall is already smiling, but it grows even more when he sees who’s arms are wrapped tightly around him. Zayn helps him change out of all of his stage stuff, this time getting comfortable before leaving the venue.

 

Niall gets like this, is the thing, he gets spacey, head not quite back from the ringing of the crowd, eyes wild and smile big. It was always Zayn who could bring him back the best, arms around him and voice right in his ear.

 

“You did so great, baby, nailed all of your solos and even mine,” and Niall turns around to look at Zayn, eyes bright at the compliment and heart swelling with love for the boy in front of him. He throws his arms around Zayn and hugs him tightly, giving the notion that it’s going to be hard to get him to let go.

 

So zayn just lifts him up, carrying him through the hallways of the venue, Niall’s laughter right in his ear and he knows now, that they’re going to be just fine. They’re going to be just fine even as Zayn flies back to Bradford the next morning, because they’re here now and they’re happy and that’s all that matters.

 

They make it back to the hotel and Niall is starting to come back to him now, mumbling about how exciting the crowd was and how he wishes Zayn was there with him. Zayn gets them both through the shower before Niall can say anything too mushy, but he barely makes it in time.

 

By time they’re settling back into bed, Niall is Niall again, even if he is still teeming with energy, telling Zayn over and over to call him all the time, to skype him, so come visit him and Zayn can only laugh because he planned on doing that a long time ago.

 

Niall makes a final comment though and it makes Zayn furrow his eyebrows, mood changing slightly, “I’m going to miss you on stage though, gonna miss you messing with me and singing to me in person,”

 

“I’ll always be with you on stage, baby, because as long as you’re there, I’m there too. Wherever you are, that’s where my heart is.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this got out of hand, actually. it was supposed to be like 2k but here we are. it was actually so nice to be able to write again so, there's that. this is the first thing i've written in over a year so i'm sorry if it sucks


End file.
